


Doctor "Haircut"

by TheatricalPlacenta



Category: Naruto
Genre: (Will add tags as chapters increase), (will add tags as characters appear), Enemies to Lovers, Graphic Procedures, Hospitals, M/M, Medical Procedures, Slow Build, doctor fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-11 01:51:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7870900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatricalPlacenta/pseuds/TheatricalPlacenta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto Uzumaki, an aspiring surgeon, never really got along with one, "god of plastics", Sasuke Uchiha. He never thought he'd be thrown on a case with him, much less have his career choices weigh heavy on his shoulders as a result.</p><p>None of his friends, and fellow doctors know the reason the promising cardiac surgeon gave up on perusing the specialty, surprised and baffled that someone with such talent and finesse would back himself in to the pediatrics department. Was he crazy? Was there some complication with a surgery? As far as anyone knows, Naruto hasn't fessed up, though some would even go as far as to suspect that the blond's "arch enemy" had something to do with it.</p><p>They never used to be like that, teeth bared at each other like wild animals, every interaction between the two turning into something that would have them playing patient instead of being the doctors. </p><p>All that was about to change. </p><p>The hospital quaked under their feet as the two butt heads, joining as a force that no man, woman, or child had ever seen before. </p><p>(Lies, deceit, family drama, death, love, sex, and a series of unfortunate events. Would you believe me if I said this is mostly a comedy?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doctor "Haircut"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CapturedByNoodles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapturedByNoodles/gifts).



> ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴
> 
> Why hello there naughty children. 
> 
> I have returned to my filthy, Nartuo-loving, trashy roots.
> 
> This is a very short chapter. Extremely so. At least... for me.
> 
> But, CapturedByNoodles (who also Beta'd most of it, bless her soul!) urged me to post this, as It's been sitting in my documents for quite some time. She inspires me so~
> 
> And as such, for the woman who encouraged me to perhaps continue this, the fic is dedicated to her!
> 
> I wanted to post this and see how it was received? I know Noodles enjoyed it, but I'm unsure if it's something people would want to read... and as I haven't written anything from the Naruto fandom for QUITE some time, I just didn't wanna come bursting in with a piece of garbage. 
> 
> So, please, have mercy on me!

“I don’t know how you do it, man…” A fork lifted from half eaten leftovers, chowmein clumped against one side of the styrofoam container and two blue eyes lifting from his own meal to stare at four pointed metal prongs, not even an inch from his face. “Did you know they shit? Like, actually take a dump on the table?”

“I’m sorry, a second ago we were talking about a three year old I successfully operated on.” Naruto directed a cheeky smile back at the brunette, a tanned hand slapping away the offending object before squaring his shoulders, nose tilted up in a gaudy manner. “The one with the aortic transection that I _beautifully_ repaired? So I’m a little confused now that you brought up someone pooping on a table?”

“It was a PARTIAL-aortic transection, and you were an assisting-”

“-I opened, sewed that kid up all by myself, then closed. Sakura basically stood there and watched, you can ask her yourself.” He was beaming now.

“I’d do that, only she wouldn’t be able to tell me you did that surgery by yourself, smartass, because she shouldn’t even be _letting_ you, Naruto.” 

Kiba let out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes as Naruto dove in to steal a bite of his bland noodles, obviously not satisfied with his own lunch that consisted of nothing but a salad and a few grapes. “Besides, I’m done hearing you gloat. It’s my turn to complain about my day, so shut up, and listen.”

Naruto’s eyes hardened as he snapped his mouth shut, brows furrowing, though his grin was still in place. “That’s not fair…-” 

“I’ll get up, right now, and go tell that dinosaur what you just told me.”

Naruto leaned forward, clearing his throat as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, bottom lip slightly jutting out as his friend threatened to turn him in. Kiba was obviously joking, but just the thought of getting bitched at by Tsunade, not to mention Sakura for getting in her in trouble too, would send anyone screaming in the other direction. Luckily, the surgery went well, or else the situation would have not only been brought to the attention of the head surgeon, but the board too.

“Get talking.” Naruto groaned as he hung his head, slumping forward as he poked at the cafeteria salad he’d picked up ten minutes ago, most of it now soggy from being soaked in dressing; and it’s soaked condition was due to him running his mouth rather than actually eating.

“Why THANK-you!” Kiba snorted, licking his lips before setting his fork down. Naruto took that as a sign he would promptly be talked to death before the remainder of their short lunch break even came to an end. “As I was saying, I don’t get how you do it.”

“Yeah, yeah, the poop thing.” The blond nodded, shoving a fork full of his “delicious and nutritious” leaves in his face. 

He knew what was coming his way. Kiba was his best friend, his soul mate, and if the guy wasn’t straight as a pole, Naruto would have put a ring on that so fast his head would have been spinning. Kiba was the guy that kept him on track, prevented him from punching idiotic families that made horrible medical decisions for their very sick loved ones, and kept him from leaping across the operating table to strangle a _certain surgeon_ he avoided with the entirety of his being. 

Kiba was his rock; and even though he made stupid decisions himself, he always made Naruto think things through. Really, he appreciated it. Only, Kiba’s recent life advice was getting on his nerves, and any time Naruto wasn’t talking...Kiba was.

“Yes! The poop thing! Pregnant ladies, they shit when they push a kid out, and you couldn’t have told me?” Kiba’s expression was a cross between being offended and horrified. Naruto tried his best not to laugh at the other, biting the inside of his cheek in order to hide any trace of a grin. He wasn’t even going to try and ask why Kiba was caught up in a delivery, but his guess was Sakura was short on hands and kidnapped him up from the ER before he even had a chance to find his attending and get in a surgery worthwhile. In all honesty, Kiba should have known what goes on in a room with a woman in labour by now, and the blond laughed with sick delight at Kiba finally having gotten to participate in the wonders of childbirth.

“I don’t fuckin’ get it!” Kiba shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. “Peeds is the grossest, most stressful, not to mention DEPRESSING, place to be. There’s snot and shit left and right, crying parents...and they’re crying because their kids are dying. I don’t get how you actually enjoy that shit.”

It was silent between them for a second, Kiba staring expectantly at his best friend, arms crossed over his chest. Brown and blue locked, Naruto's smile fading only slightly as he let out a heavy breath through his nose. There it is, the opportunity, and the segway for Kiba to casually make this conversation about the same thing he’d been talking about since Naruto went on to Sakura's service. 

“What you don’t get, is how great it is to save babies.” He set his fork down, just like Kiba had, palms laying flat against the tabletop.

“Their lives just started, and they have brand new bodies, organs that should be working. If you fix them, you give them that shot at life they were suppose to have, and that’s magical. They have these tiny little hearts, and they flutter in your fingers, yanno…?”

“Hearts!” Kiba groaned, shaking his head. “ See, that’s what you’re good at, stupid! You were just bragging about your surgery, something that you don’t get to do so often, cause you’re busy wiping noses and changing diapers. You love kids, yeah, and- hey I can see you about to tell me off, but do you hear yourself? You’re built for an OR. Sakura, SAKURA, let you practically fly solo.”

“You’ve been getting at me for months about this Kiba, can we just forget about it? Don’t turn my one good day into leverage for your little conversion speech,” Naruto held his breath, pupils dilating as he watched the orthopedic surgeon squirm in place, legs bouncing under the table as he tried to hold his tongue from saying anything further, “... _drop it_.” 

“You’re so…” Kiba leaned back, huffing as he reached out to close the styrofoam container, glancing at the clock on the wall. “I’m so not giving up on you.”

“Stick to your bones, and I’ll take care of my tiny humans.” His smile returned, Kiba shaking his head as he moved to stand.

“We have one more year of residency, and you’re not even trying anything different anymore...what are you gonna do when you’re a fellow? Just be a general surgeon? When you could be a fanta-”

“Kiba, you said this yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before THAT! I have my reasons okay?” It was getting easier and easier to tune his friend out, Naruto taking his own peek at the clock before groaning internally, clicking his tongue in slight annoyance. “I haven’t even finished lunch, for the fourth day in a row, no thanks to you.”

“You can just sit with a patient and have a picnic or something,” Kiba grabbed his food, scooping up his fork, giving Naruto a mocking smile. “I’m going to go rebuild a line-backers leg, bitch! Have fun with the rugrats.” Naruto watched as fingers were waggled teasingly at him, raising a brow as Kiba turned his back to him.

“Now you’re just being petty!” The blond barked a laugh, foot tapping on the floor as he debated getting up and following him to go see just how fun an operation his friend was going to have. 

“You’re going to rub this in my face aren’t you!” He called after Kiba, pushing himself to his feet.

“You know it, Barbie!” 

At least he could hear the smile in Kiba’s voice, unable to see his face, and he gave him a small wave as he dumped his container in the trash. He watched as the other surgeon pocketed his fork that he’d no doubt forget about and leave in there all day before sticking it back in his cubby, a warm laugh vibrating in Naruto's chest before he tossed his salad out and made his way back down to pediatrics. 

# __________

The hospital was buzzing, phones and call buttons ringing left and right, doctors and nurses whizzing past him in a hurry; the staff doing their best to get back to their uncompleted tasks left over from before lunch. He glanced into the rooms he passed, eyeing up the patients, smiling to himself every now and then when he’d see a kid accompanied by a parent. It warmed his heart, it really did, seeing their bright little smiles as they showed their families their Iv’s and all the empty jello cups stacked on the try at the end of the bed. 

Even if they didn’t have some fancy surgery, these kids were strong, resilient, and Naruto couldn’t be prouder of them. From the children with nothing but a fever to those who had tumors big enough to name, he found a lot of them had their shit more put together than the adults. The makers of the tiny humans were the true terrors of the medical field. A brain hemorrhage didn't stand a chance against them, much less Naruto or any of the doctors around here. Anything went wrong with the cabbage patch kids, and they’d tear through you like a viral infection in a kid with a T-cell count of zero.

“A freckle!!”

Naruto jumped, tearing his gaze from one of his many patients, staring straight ahead as his eccentric co-worker came flying out of a patient's room. Lee had his arms raised above his head, fingers balled into fists, grin stretching from ear to ear. It was a pose of victory, eyes wide and filled with wild excitement and fervor that sort of scared Naruto, and he found himself debating on whether or not he should turn tail and head straight back where he came from. Make a run for the dessert bar. 

“Naruto!!” Lee exclaimed, attention locking on to him as he practically jogged towards him. His white coat was slightly off one shoulder, tie loose around his neck, and hair mussed. He was a sight of disarray, and it wasn’t something you saw every day.

Naruto swallowed, unconsciously taking a step back as Lee came to stand in front of him, hands slamming down on his shoulders. 

“A freckle!!!”

“Yes, a freckle-” Naruto winced, about to ask just what it WAS about Lee’s freckle that had him so excited, but before he could open his mouth the man enthusiastically tossed him aside and moved on to a poor unsuspecting nurse who was only trying to check charts. She was alone and afraid, clutching her clipboard to her chest as Lee all but shouted in her face, Naruto shaking his head as he pitied the woman. She never saw it coming, and neither would the other numerous people Naruto was sure Lee would go harass. He only hoped there wouldn’t be any assault complaints filed throughout the day. 

His friend could get a bit out of hand.

“Naruto.” 

A gentle touch on his back brought his attention away from the fiasco, turning his head to now address the pink haired attending looking up at him with an expression of impatience. He was surprised to see her, brows raised high on his forehead, a smile replacing the perplexed frown on his face, “Doctor _Haruno_ , what a pleasant surprise!” he turned to face her completely, shoving his hands in his coat pockets as he rocked back on his heels, leaning in a little closer, lowering his voice to just above a whisper. “Here to tell me about what a _wonderful_ job I did yesterday? Hows our little guy?”

“ _Uzumaki_ , shut up.” she hissed, annoyance flashing across her heart shaped face, a delicate hand lifting to tuck a pastel lock behind her ear, “I don’t want you getting snobby. Snobby equals sloppy.”

Naruto sighed, nodding as he glanced back at Lee one last time, “So… what’s up with the… the umm-”

“The freckle?” she raised a brow, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, the _freckle_.” 

“The kid in 307, soccer mom, really pushy. She’s been giving Lee hell for three days over a spot on his back, so-”

“Are you kidding!?” Naruto snorted, cutting her off, trying to keep his voice low, and biting his lip in a sad attempt to hide his snicker “H-he’s a ginger! He’s covered in spots!”

“Yes, well, a larger than average _freckle_ appeared, and having a hypochondriac for a mother is never easy.” Naruto couldn't have agreed more, since his own mother basically held the award for worrying too much. “She has money, got it tested for skin cancer more than twice, and Lee is ecstatic to be free.” Sakura rolled her eyes, motioning for him to follow, “Now, are you ready to act like a normal functioning human being in the presence of our next patient, or should I give you five minutes with a paper bag in the janitor's closet”

Naruto moved to walk along side of Sakura, his smile withered into something caught between a cringe and grimace, nervously laughing, “Well, yeah, I’m suppose to see that kid with the hot wheels jammed in his lower bowel… like… right now? I don’t know why I wouldn’t be okay in there, are you scrubbing in or something?” he was afraid of what she was about to say. She was about to tell him that he was no longer on that case wasn't she…

Sakura gave him a blank stare, waving him off as she passively took an offered chart from an intern who’d run up. The attending took not only took a clipboard from the doe eyed brunette, but a latte Sakura had no doubt demanded she purchase from her favourite coffee shop two blocks down from the hospital. She was so full of hope and potential, shaking hands glued to her sides as she eagerly nodded at Sakura’s next instructions, more than happy to go about checking bed pans and catheters. That energy would be beaten out of her in no less than a year, it was almost sad.

“No, I will not be scrubbing in,” she shooed the intern away, Naruto watching as the woman scurried passed before falling into step with Sakura again, “because that is no longer your surgery. I gave it to Hinata.”

And there it was.

He had to stop himself from stomping his foot and yelling at the top of his lungs, anger flashing in his eyes before he decided to take a deep breath, Naruto determined to only treat toddlers, not _become_ one.

“That’s my fuc-” he caught himself as Sakura whipped her head in his direction, jade eyes narrowed and intense, pink glossed lips pressed in a thin line, “T-that’s my _fudging_ surgery, you can’t just do that! Jun is _my_ patient, not Hinatas!” 

The corners of her mouth quirked up, Sakura giving a curt nod in approval at the revision of his choice of words, flipping through the papers on her clipboard as she calmly spoke.

“I wanted to be sure I was making a good choice by picking you, and yesterday I was really impressed” 

“Impressed?” Naruto blinked, frowning a little. “Was yesterday some sort of test? You made me do _something like that_ as a test?”

“It wasn’t just a test,” she spared him a glance, focusing back on the chart in her hand as they rounded the nurses station, “I have complete faith in your skill as a surgeon. You even surpassed my expectations. What I really wanted to know was if you could stay calm in a serious situation like that. That child crashed twice, and you handled it. It was very professional”

Naruto wasn’t used to getting praise from Sakura. There would always be that time when she encouraged him to follow her to medical school, assuring him he could do it, but after that it’d been nothing but tough love. Only recently she’d eased up, and Naruto definitely wasn’t complaining, but it was weird.

“Of course I can keep my cool, his life depended on me, and I wouldn’t screw that up!” Naruto felt a little wounded, despite the affirmation of his competence.

“We’ll see about that.” Sakura muttered, Naruto biting the inside of his cheek.

He was really starting to get annoyed, huffing as his nails bit into the heel of his palms.

“What I _really_ wanna know is, what’s more important than playing colon cop to a speedster holding up traffic in a ten year old?”

Sakura laughed, unable to hold back a small titter as she shoved the chart into Naruto side, holding it out for him to take. Her smile was wide and bright, humored by her residents portrayal of his role in his patient's case, tanned hands grabbing the offered papers as blue eyes stared down with wonder.

“You now have a case of Ectopia Cordis. I wanted you in that OR, and I promised Kakashi that I made sure you weren't rusty, and I would be _honoured_ if you stood in for me.”

“I… I am… “ he was shocked, ravenously looking over the synopsis of his future patient “I’m the one who should be honoured! Oh my god! _Oh my god_ Sakura!” His grin was radiant, sucking in a hissed breath through his teeth as he stopped dead in his tracks and gathered the smaller woman up in his arms, squeezing her in a tight hug without restraint, “Thank you!”

She strained to laugh, chin propped up on his shoulder as a few nurses and parents looked their way, eyes shifting anxiously as she awkwardly patted his back, “Yes… well… we’ll see if you’re still thanking me in a couple minutes…”

“What are you talking about, this is amazing!” He moved back, holding her still, but at an arm's length, “Ectopia Cordis! We have a kid with her heart sticking out of her chest, and you’re letting me fix her!”

“You get to _help_ Kakashi fix her. What did I say about getting snobby?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Naruto shook his head, still beaming as he looked back down to her chart. “Can I see the X-rays?” he asked, Sakura nodding.

“Once we get in the room, yes.” 

“This is fucking awesome.” the blond whispered under his breath.

Naruto took the first step this time, leading the way even though he had no idea where they were going, earnest to get to work as soon as possible, “She’s five? This is a lot for a five year old..”

“She has a condition called ASD.” Sakura paused, swatting Naruto’s elbow to get his attention, smirking as she stopped the blonde from getting lost in thought, “Why don’t you tell me what that means?”

“It’s a small hole in the interracial septum that allows blood to pass between the atria.” He kept eye contact with Sakura, positive he was right, but making sure just in case.

“Exactly that. The defect was small at first, but made itself known recently, and has started posing problems.”

“Usually it just heals over time…” Naruto clicked his tongue, tapping the charts.

“Not this time. She’s been basically living a hospital a few thousand miles away, and a month ago her parents arranged a transfer here, because both me and Kakashi were confident we could do the surgery,” she squared her shoulders, emanating determination and certainty, “but you'll be in there as my hands Naruto, so don't let me down, got it?”

“I dunno if I can really match you in skill and talent, Kakashi used to say you’re just as good as he is.”

“He’ll be watching over your progress, and _I_ think you're a future cardio legend. Are you doubting my judgment?” Sakura looked at the blond pointedly as he supplied a quick “Of course not!” 

“Good! And now that brings up the part about you acting civil and in an orderly fashion.” 

Naruto pouted, scrunching his brows. “Why is everybody bringing stuff up to me without context today? What are you talking about, me and Kakashi get along just fine”

Sakura pointed towards a room, motioning for Naruto to hand the clipboard back over in the next second, staring at him with hardened eyes as they came to stand just outside the door. “She needs her sternum completely rebuilt, and our goal here is not only to fix her heart, but make sure she doesn’t leave this hospital horribly disfigured.” She paused, Naruto staring back at her as he nodded, the blond taking a moment before he gasped, eyes widening as the realisation of what she was going to say next hit him like a ton of bricks. He wasn’t able to say anything, words lodged in his throat as Sakura continued, “Her bones are brittle and malformed, so Sasuke is here to work with us, and hopefully succeed in rebuilding her chest.” 

Naruto inhaled deeply through his nose, holding his breath as he caught the dangerous look in Sakura’s eye, choosing to wordlessly shake his head instead of voice his objections. He couldn’t do it. There was no way he could work with the fabled “god of plastics”, and not punch him in the face at least ONCE during this case. He was horrified that Sakura would even ask this of him.

“After hearing what we’re about to do, do you really want to go back and squeeze a car out of a kids butt?” her hip jutted out, hand sitting there as she stared at him with disbelief, Naruto visibly sweating as he slowly shook his head again. “That’s what I thought. Now _behave_.”

Naruto bit his tongue, and went over all the positive outcomes of being put in this shitty position. It would look amazing on his record, and would probably give him a better chance of getting his first major solo surgery before anyone else, so there was that. He’d do his best to endure.

“ _I’ll try_.” he whispered, Sakura giving him a stern look before grabbing the handle, and pushing the door open gently with her shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it was... readable?
> 
> Tell me what you think :'D
> 
> -whispers- It was terrible wasn't it. Excuse me while I just walk off a bridge ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ


End file.
